News: Torn Between Two Masters: Encouraging Teens to Live Authentically in a Celebrity Obsessed World by Kimberly Davidson

For Youth Leaders

In this culture we all struggle with our body image to a certain extent. Tweens, teens and women of all ages typically have a distorted view of themselves. Teens are the most vulnerable to developing a distorted view of themselves.

We've got to speak truth into the lives of today's children and youth. We need to devise a plan to counteract the lies and deception today's youth are enslaved to. It is not about our bodies or sex or substances. It's about the need for love and acceptance. Today relational pain and social isolation are at an all time high. We cannot not have our needs met for love and acceptance.

Our youth today must identify themselves as a child of the King, as royalty. Compliment their appearance, but make it a point to praise the inner qualities-talents, those things that make them a beautiful person. Don't let them overhear you talking about your weight or being on a diet!

Before we can be a model of positive body image-speak into their lives-we must do our own self-examination.

• Today it is estimated that 75% of all girls have low self esteem. They believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, such as, looks, performance in school, relationships with friends and family.
• 75% wish they could surgically change something about themselves. Many engage in negative activities: disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking, and drinking. Teenagers today are experiencing a crisis of confidence that emerges as negative body image or body art.
• A survey of women: 15 yrs + over: 67% won't participate in life engaging activities because they feel badly about their weight. 57% of all girls have a mother who criticizes her own looks, which is usually passed onto her daughter.
• We're a nation obsessed with pursuing beauty at all costs. The costs are high: financial, family and relationships and ones health suffers. Tragedy because we miss out on what God has for us.
• It is a "normal" to be dissatisfied with the way we are created. Why? We come to believe a series of lies which become stronghold. The mind is what Satan's most frequently attacks. He deliberately attacks our thought process which affects our emotions and body. Everyday we are in conflict with our own flesh, the devil, and the world's messages.
• We become deceived because our thinking becomes contrary to God's thinking. Lies are very powerful. If Satan can get you to believe a lie then he can begin to work in your life to lead you away from God and into sin-into idolizing models, celebrities and self. Satan knows whether we are 5 or 15 or 50 or 90-everyone wants to feel beautiful, accepted and loved.
  Don't get me wrong.
• There is nothing wrong with trying to look and be your best. We don't want our image to become an obsession.
• The problem: We've come to believe we'll be accepted if we have that perfect body, perform perfectly or look perfect. LIE! We will find a way to get those needs met. The best way is to let Jesus Christ fill that hole. I eventually found the truth through God's Word, the living Bible. Truth says:
  " I must identify myself first and foremost as a child of God. This is who I am!
  " I am the daughter of the Almighty God! I am created in his image.
  " I am fully pleasing to God!
• Body Talk:
  o Do I look okay? Am I fat? Am I pretty enough? Do I even fit in here?
  o If I could just lose 5 more pounds or tone my thighs, I know they'd like me.
  If we don't get the positive feedback we're looking for it leads to--
• Negative Body Image: The thought that one might not measure up to the "thin ideal," my perception of body image, a key factor in chronic dieting and the development of eating disorders. 50% of all women are on diets today: disordered eaters. It is estimated that 25 million young girls and women are battling their bodies.
• Profile: These girls are hard to identify. Generally a good student, high achiever with normal or above-average appearance, and involved in school activities. Parents may be involved in church and community, however, they aren't that involved in their teen's life usually because they both work outside the home. An anorexic or cutter will avoid activities require changing clothes-wear baggy, long sleeves. An ED or self abuse may also be related to sexual abuse.
• It is now estimated 1/3 girls and 1/5 boys are abused by someone they know, love and trust. Girls that are abused develop self-hatred. The easiest ways to get power over their bodies back is to control their food intake. So they may develop an obsession with thinness or cutting as a cover-up for their inner pain.
• NOTE: You can't fix her problem alone-she may need professional help. Support her. Be her spiritual counselor and parent.
• The Solution is pretty simple: The bible exposes those lies by shedding light on the truth.
  Jesus said: "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed." Luke 4:18 (NIV) This is the effect of truth!
• In order to restore a damaged self-image, Paul said we have to be transformed by the renewing of our minds-replace negative thoughts with positive ones, with biblical truth. Jesus said: "You will know the truth and the truth will se you free!" (John. 8:32)

Eating Disorder and Self-Abuse Warning Signs:

• Does he/she seem to have an intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, especially if she is underweight or 'normal'? They avoid certain foods for fear of being fat. They think about calories as they eat and exercise.
• Does he/she frequently dieting, over-exercising, using laxatives?
• Does he/she talk about her body negatively, having a disturbed body image such as "huge" thighs, stomach or buttocks?
  
• Does he/she talk about being teased or criticized by parents or friends about her weight or looks?
• Does he/she think that if she was skinny or pretty instead of fat or ugly, then she wouldn't be teased anymore, that life would be perfect?
• Has he/she suddenly isolated herself? Is she more withdrawn than usual?
• At snack time, has his/her eating habits changed? Does she pick at her food, or nibble at it like a rabbit, or tear or cut the food into teeny-tiny pieces?
• Does he/she go to the bathroom immediately after she eats?

As youth leaders, we have the incredible privilege to speak the truth into their lives. Pray, pray and pray! May God bless you as he uses you in his life transforming work!

The Biblical Message:
1. 1 Cor. 12:21-23: Each one of us was created for a very specific reason.
2. We have different personality types, temperaments gift, talents, and body sizes.
3. We were designed by God specifically to be different with a unique purpose.

Counter attack to I'm Ugly!
1. Genesis 1:27
2. True beauty is who they are, not what they look like or what they have.
3. God loves ordinary looking people-that's why he made so many! Truth!
4. 1 Samuel 16:3-12: God told Samuel whom to pick as the next king-David, the least likely.
5. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Counter attack to I'm Fat!
1. They are usually seeking affirmation-want acceptance.
2. Encourage them to own their body. Teach them their body is their own: no matter what shape, size, or color it comes in.
3. If they are overweight encourage them to eat healthy foods and exercise.
4. Friends don't let friends "Fat Talk."

Counter attack to I'm Worthless!
1. Ephesians 2:10
2. John 3:16
3. 1 John 3:1
4. 2 Cor. 3:17
5. 1 John 5:4
6. Romans 8:29
7. Jeremiah 1:5
8. Psalm 139:13-14

I'm a Failure!
1. Philippians 4:13
2. 2 Cor. 12:9
3. Psalm 60:12
4. 2 Cor. 2:14

Trends: Body Art, Plastic Surgery, Hair Design-Yes or No?
1. Is what she is asking to do illegal?
2. Is she going to hurt herself?
3. Is it going to make a difference in five years?
4. Is it something that will hurt someone else?
5. It is appropriate for her age?

The Lord says, "Because she loves me, I will rescue her; I will make her great because she trusts in my name. When she calls on me, I will answer; I will be with her in trouble and rescue her and honor her. I will satisfy her with a full life and give her my salvation." (Psalms 91:14-16, TLB)