Depression is a household word today. It is called the "common cold of counseling." Twice as many women as men suffer from depression. But before you condemn yourself unfairly, or give a loved one some bad advice, make sure you know the real facts about depression.

Laura says, "I feel myself slipping into a self absorbed, secluded world. I'm shutting people out. I could break down in floods of tears at any moment. I feel so fragile and insignificant and a nuisance. I'm angry with everybody. I just want to be by myself. My head is such a mess. I'm confused and incredibly depressed." Do you feel the same?

Follow us on Facebook

What is depression?

Most professionals agree it is a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.

Every woman has for a time felt down in the dumps and experienced loss of some kind. Adversity is a normal part of life. Even a life filled with success invites occasional disappointments. Yet, sometimes we sink in quicksand and we can't get out. We can't pull ourselves out because life feels too hard. Loneliness is rampant in America today.

A study published in the journal, The Archives of General Psychiatry suggested that about one in four people diagnosed with depression might instead be struggling with emotions associated with the loss of a loved one, or a job, or some other event in the person's life-- the blues. Many people describe themselves as depressed when they are really discouraged or unhappy or lonely.

Sadness can be a symptom of clinical or major depression. Dr. James Potash, an associate professor of psychiatry at John Hopkins, explains, "When psychiatrists think of depression, we think of what is called a syndrome-- meaning a collection of signs (what other people can see) and symptoms (what a person feels) that occur together."

Depression can be brought on by biochemistry as well as the loss of a loved one, unemployment, or even a bout of ill health. When we lose the ability to enjoy things, or feel badly about ourselves, believing we do not deserve to be happy, or feel guilty for no reason, or blame ourselves for something we had no part in, this is when we are likely to experience depression. Depression goes beyond the blues. Depression is generally a result of anger turned inward and/or a deep sense of loss.
One in four women will experience at least one episode of depression in her lifetime. Some women experience many episodes. Consider the words of one of America's greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln, "I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family there would not be one cheerful face on the earth." We all develop elaborate defense mechanisms to block pain and our sense of purpose becomes dulled.

You may have the blues, or be genuinely depressed. In either case, lost in your feelings you are clinging to a thread of hope that something or someone will break through the fog of despair because we all have the desire to have joy in our lives.Television teaches us that the way to handle depressed individuals is to those who feel depressed, or "pressed down," them to stop feeling sorry for themselves. Once challenged, they will rise to the occasion and pull themselves together. It works almost every time, on TV. In reality, such tactics often backfire badly, by lowering self-esteem and undermining trust in relationships. Our culture is full of such myths about depression. Therefore, many of us hold a number of false beliefs about depression - beliefs which may keep us from obtaining the right kind of help for ourselves or a loved one.

Many individuals mislabel depression as boredom, job stress, marital unhappiness, and so on. Men, who often experience more anger and irritability than sadness when they are depressed, may not recognize the symptoms of depression. Similarly, depressed adolescents may insist that they would be fine, if only their parents and teachers left them alone. Lastly, large numbers of depressed people show up in their physician's offices, complaining of a variety of physical symptoms.

Some of the most common misconceptions people have about depression:

1. I would know if I were depressed.
2. If you do not feel sad, you are not depressed.
3. If you are depressed, you feel lousy almost all the time.
4. If you can still work or function, you probably do not have clinical
depression.
5. Medication or psychotherapy are only for people who are "really
bad off".
6. Most people just choose to be depressed because they believe they are victims.
7. Depression is a sign of weakness.

Take Job's Depression Test

The Bible is full of people with broken hearts and spirits. King Ahab became depressed when he couldn't get his own way. When Ahab's neighbor refused to sell him a piece of property, he threw a temper tantrum and became "sullen and angry." He lay on his bed "sulking and refused to eat" (1 Kings 21:4).

Hannah, a godly woman, became depressed when she had to deal with a combination of unfulfilled longing, and a strained relationship over a prolonged period of time. She had a godly husband, Elkanah, who loved her dearly. However, for reasons known only to the Lord, He had closed her womb. Hannah's struggles with barrenness were exacerbated by her husband's other wife, Peninnah (Elkanah had two wives). Peninnah had no difficulty conceiving and bearing children, and she "kept provoking Hannah in order to irritate her." For years, she provoked her until she wept and couldn't eat. Hannah was depressed.

One of my favorite promises for trouncing depression is John 8:12: "Jesus said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" Did you get that? Jesus promises that if we accept Him, and follow Him, we will never walk in darkness again. That's another truth!What is your chief concern in life right now? Most likely you answered, "To have happiness or joy."

The Bible tells us to be filled with joy and praise (Philippians 4:4; Romans 15:11), so God apparently intends for us all to live joyful lives which is not easy for someone suffering from depression.

Is Joy Possible?

There is a difference between happiness and joy. The word "joy" is used 224 times in the Bible (NIV), whereas the words "happy" and "happiness" combined are used only thirty times. That is not a coincidence. Happiness is dependent on circumstances, like a job promotion, or getting married, or finding out you are pregnant. Ralph Waldo Trine wrote, "To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy…is to set our own conditions to the events of each day."

Joy is different. It is dependent on a relationship with God. Jesus, preparing the disciples for his departure, said, "You're going to be in deep mourning. You'll be sad, very sad, but your sadness will develop into joy. When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there's no getting around it. "But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth" (John 16:20-21, Msg). If you've endured childbirth, you understand Jesus' point.

Many see depression today as more a spiritual crisis when the issue becomes:What am I here for? Where is joy and laughter in life? What's my purpose? Before lasting peace and joy can be found, we must answer these questions.

Christian psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter agrees that a modest amount of depression can be a sign of a hungry spirit. He wrote, "Life is a journey, and our efforts to relate appropriately are meaningless if we do not stay focused on where we come from and where we are going."

We're all spiritual beings. It is when our spirit unites with God's that we find true peace, joy, and fulfillment. Depression can even produce insight and wisdom that can be had in no other way. From his years of experience caring for the depressed, Dr. Walter Johnson wrote, "Although I am convinced, and indeed scientific evidence is very strong in this area, that in many cases biological factors are a predominant cause of depression, I am very insistent that spiritual counseling is of the utmost importance in treating depressed individuals in conjunction, when necessary, with antidepressant medications."

Bible study and application, support groups, fellowship among believers, confession, forgiveness, and counseling are gifts God gives us to help us move through the valley of darkness. Pit-y means we must work--change our mindset--from ourselves, to turn our efforts outward. Feelings of depression can often be solved when we move the focus from ourselves to Christ and others.

The following is an excerpt from Answers to Life's Problems by Billy Graham.

Question: I have some emotional problems and my family doctor says I need to see a psychiatrist. My friend says I just have to have enough faith. What do you think?

Billy Graham: "I would be the first to say that faith in God is very, very important. It is essential for our eternal salvation, and it is crucial for our everyday lives. But at the same time I do not agree with your friend, because God may choose to use an able psychiatrist to help you with some of the problems you are facing. You see, when you have faith in God, you actually trust a problem into his hands. You are saying, "Lord, I don't know how to deal with this, but I have faith that You do. I trust that you will lead me and give me wisdom, so I will know what is right. I trust You to show me the right answer to this situation." I have met hundreds of women who have put their faith in God and have been healed. Some were guided to excellent counselors, some to gifted physicians, and some to rehabilitation facilities, and a few have even been miraculously healed.

There are some things that those who suffer from depression can do to alleviate their anxiety. They should make sure that they are staying in the Word, even when they do not feel like it. Emotions can lead us astray, but God's Word stands firm and unchanging. We must maintain strong faith in God and hold even more tightly to Him when we undergo trials and temptations. The Bible tells us that God will never allow temptations into our lives that are too much for us to handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). Although being depressed is not a sin, one is still accountable for the response to the affliction, including getting the professional help that is needed. “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name” (Hebrews 13:15).

If you are suicidal, seek professional help immediately. Call 1-800-273-8255 or 911 and ask for help. A professional will provide a safe place for you to talk and tend to your immediate needs.

I'm God's Girl? Why Can't I Feel It?

Another book on depression! But this book is different. It is not about how depression affects you, or about anti-depressants, or how to help or live with a depressed person In this book we will explore in a series of daily teachings the different paths some amazing, and surprising, women took to get out of their personal dark dungeons.

What if the perfect depression medication wasn't a medication at all? Let Kimberly take you on a journey of hope out of the darkness and into the light.

Moving Beyond Depression by Dr. Gregory L. Jantz, known as The Speaker of Hope.

Helping the whole person heal ~ Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., suggests that readers get away from the quick-fix mentality of chemical solutions and start recognizing that the whole person, must be healed. Focusing on emotional, environmental, relational, physical, and spiritual causes of depression, Dr. Jantz provides a model for relief that takes into consideration the uniqueness of the suffering person and helps readers to tailor a solution specific to their needs.

Depression is often termed "anger turned inward." Recommened books on anger:

• Every Woman's Guide to Managing Your Anger, by Dr. Gregory L. Jantz
• Healing For Damaged Emotions, by Dave Seamonds
• Hurt and Bitterness, by Winkie Pratney
• Learning More About Bitterness, by Robert S. McGee
• The Anger Workbook, by Frank Minirth and Les Carter